For those that have been divorced

Metal master Age : 34 Joined : 23 Jan 2007 Posts : 603

How did you find peace with the other person? I have been divorced for a few years. My wife cheated on me all the time while I was deployed in the Gulf. It took years to find peace about it all. I am not sure, what happened. Something recently just clicked. I forgave her, and am happy for her. I talk to her on myspace, she is remarried, doing well, and I am happy for her. How did you find peace, or have you not found peace about it?

Administrator Age : 39 Joined : 09 Jan 2007 Posts : 2923

Thankfully, mine moved to Australia (still not far enough away).
I took her there for 4 months in '94, and that was the final nail in
the coffin (24 hrs a day X 4 months = "that's it"!). Turns out
that is was a good investment! haha
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Subject: Re: For those that have been divorced Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:47 pm

Ha! My wife also cheated on me while I was deployed, in Italy in 1999. It was easy for me to find peace, because this was nothing that was my fault. She was weak. When I got back to Little Rock—where I was permanently stationed at the time—I filed for divorce, called up the assignments office at Randolph AFB in Texas and said, "I want to go to Korea." Haha. No one does that! That was in June of 1999; in August I was in Korea. And what a year that was! Wow! The most fun I've ever had.

I deal with problems on-the-spot. Yeah, it sucked and it hurt, but knowing that I was a good person throughout it all helped. And she was the Christian! Haha. Had I been an awful partner then maybe I'd have more to deal with; but she was co-dependent. Unfortunately I didn't learn this until after I was deployed. She just couldn't stand to be alone. Last I heard of her I got an e-mail and her last name had changed. I asked if she'd been adopted. Haha. She, of course, was married again (her third) and pregnant. I still know people that are close to her and they said she was pregnant by another man, an ex-boyfriend. Apparently her then-boyfriend-current-husband got deployed like I did, she cheated on him with an ex, and got pregant. Unlike me, though, when he got back he didn't file for divorce, he proposed! And he knew she'd cheated; and knew the baby wasn't his. Crazy dude.

I haven't spoken to her in years, though. She was hot, though. She looked like Kimberly McCullough, some girl from General Hospital. People used to always stop her and ask for an autograph. Haha. It's funny, I bought the Firefly season on DVD recently, and there's an unaired episode called Heart of Gold where the Firefly crew tries to help out an intergalactic brothel. This McCullough chicks played a whore in this episode; a whore that betrayed them all. Hahaha. Fitting.
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Heart of Metal Age : 50 Joined : 06 Feb 2007 Posts : 1844

About a year after my divorce, my ex got very depresssed over some unrelated issues. I was actually afraid that she might do something to herself. When she came out of it, I thought "well, now I can go back to feeling sorry for myself "(which I had been just about paralyzed by- I was really depressed). But I realized that I had some control over my own attitude (unlike her attitude or anyone else's); and I just decided to put it behind me and get on with my life. Realizing that she could feel miserable too helped me see beyond my own misery. Now; while I keep my distance out of respect for her new marriage; I do count her as a very good friend.

Metal master Age : 41 Joined : 24 Feb 2007 Posts : 655

Bro... it's just hard sometimes. I have three children with my ex and I have to see her everyweek when I pick up my children. I gave up ministry (a lifes passion) to try to restore my marriage. Didn't happen. My life is very different now, in how I view many things. God, church, people, why things happen.
I go to church still and want my relationship with God to grow. but I view it differently now. can't quite explain it cause it's inside. Been seperated/divorced 5-1/2 years. I remarried last year. beautiful woman who is just fantastic.

It took me along time and there are still times I get furious with my ex..... It just happens. I have more peace about it than I did. Sometimes when 'stuff happens' and feel upset about it, it's like being on the 'slippery slope'... crazy stuff.