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Fat Freddy
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PostSubject: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:45 pm

Someone sent me the link to this Onion classic and I just had to share:

Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious
HERNDON, VA–The record collection of area parents Donald and Peggy Schnell is "totally hilarious," son Andrew Schnell, 16, reported Monday.


Above: A small sampling of the hilarity contained within Donald and Peggy Schnell's record collection.

"Dude, check this one out," Andrew told friend Ben Witt, holding a copy of the Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass LP Whipped Cream & Other Delights. "Is that the funniest thing you've ever seen, or what?"
The teens accidentally stumbled across the record collection while searching for a long-rumored bottle of brandy in the Schnell family den. The collection proved a treasure trove of comic fodder, featuring such artists as The New Christy Minstrels, The Fifth Dimension, Helen Reddy, Tony Orlando & Dawn, Jo Ann Castle, The Carpenters, Glen Campbell, Arthur Fiedler & The Boston Pops, John Denver, Boots Randolph, and Ferrante & Teicher.
Music and pop-culture experts agree that the Schnell record collection is one of the most hilarious in the country today.
"At turns atrocious, tasteless, tepid, and self-parodying, the Schnell discography is a perfect encapsulation of the listening tastes of the American bourgeoisie in the mid- to late 20th century, as well as a knee-slappingly hilarious compendium of misguided trends in popular music," said Lydia Dreifort, director of the Alan Lomax Center For American Ethnomusicology in Oxford, MS. "Can you believe they actually own Neil Diamond's Jonathan Livingston Seagull?"
"I greatly look forward to having the chance to examine it firsthand," Dreifort said of the collection, which not only features Hooked On Classics, but Hooked On Swing and Hooked On Broadway. "The exquisite squareness of the music is truly something to behold."
Donald Schnell, 55, said the collection began in November 1968, when, shortly after marrying the former Peggy Peavy, he purchased a hi-fi stereo.
"We figured since we had this nice new stereophonic hi-fi, we should have some records to play on it," Donald said. "I've always been a real music lover, and I just started buying everything from Henry Mancini to Mitch Miller."
"Oh, I know we still have all those records in the den, but I haven't listened to them in years," Peggy said. "I sometimes listen to classical music on the public radio station, but mostly I listen to that one AM talk station."
Dreifort said that while the Schnells' zest for music acquisition is not unusual for people their age, the jaw-dropping banality of their holdings is.
"In the 30 or so years since they purchased their first record, Donald and Peggy have witnessed countless stylistic revolutions in American popular music," Dreifort said. "But somehow, every single one of these changes managed to elude them, as they steadily filled their den with Percy Faith and Up With People records. I cannot tell you why these particular musical selections held such aesthetic appeal for them; further research is warranted. But one thing is certain: The Schnells, God bless them, must have ears of the purest tin."

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exact33
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:51 pm

they will be saying this about us metal cd fans in a few more years...

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MetalGuy71
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:53 pm

Quote :
Hooked On Classics

Good Lord. My parents have (or had) that album. I fear this is how my children will react to my music collection some day.

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Fat Freddy
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:56 pm

exact33 wrote:
they will be saying this about us metal cd fans in a few more years...

MetalGuy71 wrote:
I fear this is how my children will react to my music collection some day.

It's already happening to me. My kids (8 and 4) look at the CDs I leave laying around and tell me they're either "weird" or "gross," and my niece is unnerved whenever she sees my Iron Maiden shirt with Eddie on the front. Very Happy

MetalGuy71 wrote:

Quote :
Hooked On Classics

Good Lord. My parents have (or had) that album.

I think my parents did too. I know my Mom had (and probably still has) the Kenny Rogers "Gambler" album shown in the photo!! Laughing very hard

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""We would absolutely love to put out a new record and get lumped in with all of the other '80s bands out there that still record and put out records that nobody really buys."
- Jeff LaBar, CINDERELLA

HEY KIDS! Check out my way-cool CD and movie reviews and other geeky nonsense on HubPages: http://hubpages.com/@fatfreddyscat
NEW IN 2017: for even MORE Metal & Movie fun, check out my lame ass Tumblr blog! http://keefer1970.tumblr.com/
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exact33
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:02 pm

MetalGuy71 wrote:
Quote :
Hooked On Classics

Good Lord. My parents have (or had) that album. I fear this is how my children will react to my music collection some day.

my mom has a Sha Na Na collection... insane

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MetalGuy71
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:06 pm

Oh heck yea. The Gambler and that Herb Alpert album too. I'm all too familiar with both of those. I could add Barry Manilow, Abba, and Charlie Rich to that list as well.

Growing up with that playing on the turntable, is it any wonder we're metalheads?

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Fat Freddy
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:08 pm

Quote :
The collection proved a treasure trove of comic fodder, featuring such artists as The New Christy Minstrels, The Fifth Dimension, Helen Reddy, Tony Orlando & Dawn, Jo Ann Castle, The Carpenters, Glen Campbell, Arthur Fiedler & The Boston Pops, John Denver, Boots Randolph, and Ferrante & Teicher.

Add the "Grease" movie soundtrack and some Jim Croce records and this was my Mom and Dad's record collection in a nutshell.


MetalGuy71 wrote:
Growing up with that playing on the turntable, is it any wonder we're metalheads?
I'm sure it had a LOT to do with it!!

_________________
""We would absolutely love to put out a new record and get lumped in with all of the other '80s bands out there that still record and put out records that nobody really buys."
- Jeff LaBar, CINDERELLA

HEY KIDS! Check out my way-cool CD and movie reviews and other geeky nonsense on HubPages: http://hubpages.com/@fatfreddyscat
NEW IN 2017: for even MORE Metal & Movie fun, check out my lame ass Tumblr blog! http://keefer1970.tumblr.com/
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Joe
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:09 pm

Fat Freddy wrote:
It's already happening to me. My kids (8 and 4) look at the CDs I leave laying around and tell me they're either "weird" or "gross," and my niece is unnerved whenever she sees my Iron Maiden shirt with Eddie on the front. Very Happy




My niece has gotten to that point too. I try not wear a metal shirt whenever we visit them. My nephew however has gotten to the curious stage. I think I have a little disciple in the making. I know it's going to drive his parents nuts! It will be my pleasure making their lives miserable! Laughing

I grew up to Kenny Rogers, so I actually have a greatest hits comp somewhere.
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:11 pm

I used to own that Hooked On Classics album.
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SpectreFate
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:12 pm

My mom and pops have a ton of Dr. Hook albums. Who the hell is that?
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:16 pm

SpectreFate wrote:
My mom and pops have a ton of Dr. Hook albums. Who the hell is that?

The early albums billed as "Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show" are comic genius...the later albums billed as Dr. Hook is pop/disco crap of the lowest denominator.

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QuothTheRaven
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:30 pm

SpectreFate wrote:
My mom and pops have a ton of Dr. Hook albums. Who the hell is that?

This is one of my favorite tongue-in-cheek songs that they did. Listen in the background for Wolfman Jack. Love it!

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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:40 pm

their masterpiece: (NSFW)


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tohostudios
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:13 pm

My parents had the Herb Alpert album. I'm convinced that album cover subliminally influenced my decision to take up playing the trumpet.

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MetalGuy71
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:15 pm

tohostudios wrote:
My parents had the Herb Alpert album. I'm convinced that album cover subliminally influenced my decision to take up playing the trumpet.

It may have had something to do with my Cool Whip addiction as a child too.

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Fat Freddy
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:17 pm

tohostudios wrote:
My parents had the Herb Alpert album. I'm convinced that album cover subliminally influenced my decision to take up playing the trumpet.

I'm pretty sure my parents did too. That thing must've been like the "Appetite For Destruction" or "Frampton Comes Alive" of its day, i.e. the album everybody HAD to have.

_________________
""We would absolutely love to put out a new record and get lumped in with all of the other '80s bands out there that still record and put out records that nobody really buys."
- Jeff LaBar, CINDERELLA

HEY KIDS! Check out my way-cool CD and movie reviews and other geeky nonsense on HubPages: http://hubpages.com/@fatfreddyscat
NEW IN 2017: for even MORE Metal & Movie fun, check out my lame ass Tumblr blog! http://keefer1970.tumblr.com/
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DeathCult
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PostSubject: Re: Article: Parents' Record Collection Deemed Hilarious    Sat Jul 09, 2011 4:47 pm

Shawn D. wrote:
SpectreFate wrote:
My mom and pops have a ton of Dr. Hook albums. Who the hell is that?

The early albums billed as "Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show" are comic genius...the later albums billed as Dr. Hook is pop/disco crap of the lowest denominator.


Baby Makes Her Bluejeans Talk Laughing very hard

Anyone else remember that video?
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