In this thread lets post some of the cheesiest metal/hard rock lyrics we can find. Heres a Krokus song that IMO qualifies:

Eat the Rich

I've been down, I've been beat, I've been tossed into the street
Beggin' nickels, beggin' dimes just to get my bottle of wine

Some say life she's a lady, kinda soft, kinda shady
I can tell you life is rich, she's no lady, she's a bitch

They suck my body out, but friend there is no doubt
I'm gonna pay the devil his dues, 'cause I'm sick of being abused

Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, don't you know life is a bitch
Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, out of the palace and into the ditch

Steal my money, steal my car, took my woman and my old guitar
Runnin' crazy, runnin' wild, blind alley in my mind

Just can't fight the temptation it's become my inspiration
Gonna get myself an axe, break some heads, break some backs

They suck my body out, but friend there is no doubt
I'm gonna pay the devil his dues, 'cause I'm sick of being abused

Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, don't you know life is a bitch
Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, out of the palace and into the ditch

Don't stop me

Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, don't you know life is a bitch
Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, out of the palace and into the ditch

Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, don't you know life is a bitch
Eat The Rich, Eat The Rich, out of the palace and into the ditch

Out of the palace and into the ditch
They suck my body out

(Of course, most of Krokus's stuff is practically one stonehenge statue away from actually BEING Spinal Tap)

We've done this topic before, and every time it comes up I have to quote this line from "Believe" by Barren Cross:

"Better than pot, JEEEEEESUS ROOOOOOOOOOOCKS!"

Mind you I love the band, but man, that bit makes me cringe every time I hear it.

Pretty much anything by Dream Evil is Velveeta but "Heavy Metal Jesus" from the "Dragonslayer" album is probably even cheesy for them:



On my way to kill the beast
I met a holy man from the east
His name was Jesus & he was son of man
He warned me about the danger ahead

He was godsend, he was gonna bring the Metal back
And take away the sins that people did in the past
He came down here to change our lives
He said to me while he looked me in the eyes

"I'm the Heavy Metal Jesus!
I'm the Heavy Metal thunderstriking Jesus"

He said, "if you wanna kill the beast
You gotta be blessed from the man from the east
So why don't you get down on your knee
And I will bless you with my Flying V?"

There's a line in the Blood Feast song "R.I.P." (I'm pretty sure it's in the second verse) that goes, "The ultimate sacrifice has come to us, worse than exploding a school bus".

And all this time I thought Spinal Tap's parody lyrics were too obvious.

Yeah, the first thing I'd think after my future has been destroyed is "Gee, that's shady."

I've always thought Aerosmith's 'Living on the Edge' was cheesy bad.



A band that made it's bones through songs about back-stroke loving and being lord of your thighs have no room for lyrics about something being wrong with the world today or judging man by the color of his skin.



Stick to euphemisms on naughty bits, Steven.

Anything from Annihilator.

Amen, Troublezone. Jeff Waters needs to stay away from lyrics sheets.

No where to run, no where to hide....Bla Bla Bla...

This song is actually really cool but you did say "cheesy" lyrics. so here are the most cheesiest lyrics i could come up with...


cupboard's bare, i'm so hungry
life ain't fair, give me some money
macaroni maniac, a cheddar cheese heart attack

i love, i love, i love, i love
kraf dinner

boiling water, i can't wait
it's getting hotter, it feels so great
macaroni maniac, a cheddar cheese heart attack

i love, i love, i love, i love
kraf dinner

well that was fun, but now that i'm all done
now sedate, i think i'll buy a crate
macaroni maniac, a cheddar cheese heart attack

i love, i love, i love, i love
kraf dinner

kraf dinner
dinner
kraf dinner
my dinner

i want it now

Really, anything by Nitro would do, but this really sticks out in my mind. It's the tile track of the O.F.R. album:

We got the balls and like to prove it, anyplace or anytime
We’re like a drug but you can’t abuse us
We’re gonna blow youre smurfing mind

We are strong, we are one with the pack
Serious as a heart attack, Jack
Don’t look back

Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous

We got the first afuckingmendment in the U.S. smurfing A
The P.M.R.C. can Smurf off baby, ain’t gonna tell me what to say

We are strong, we are one with the pack
Serious as a heart attack, Jack
Don’t look back

Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous

Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous
Out smurfing Rageous

The Kix avatar reminded me of another piece of cheese, Kix's "Bump the La La". And ult complains about "Pour some sugar on me"? (though admittedly, the kix song is slightly better)